Marriage Life becomes happy after having baby, for those parents, who considered baby as bless of god. However, many couple feels that married life becomes problematic after having baby. Many factors are responsible for both of this situation such as financial condition of the parents, family background etc.
Baby not only gives a lot of enjoyment to the parents but also to the other member of family particularly if it is the first baby. But we cannot ignore the problems that arise after the baby. After the baby the mother diverts in her baby and may not be give sufficient time to the other family member specially her husband. Women experience body changes after the birth of baby. At this time, husband should have to realize his wife that she is still attractive otherwise she feel her husband is not interested in her due to alteration of body.
The married couple becomes the parents after a baby birth so their responsibilities also increase. Many partners feel slow-down after having baby therefore maintain such an environment as there had before the baby came that helps to void the many problems. Mostly wives concentrate on her baby but should not forget to love their husband after become mothers. Both the partners should take care of their relationship after having baby.
Philip and Carolyn Cowan, who are the family life researchers and author of the ‘when partners become parents,’ have conducted the study on ‘big life changes for couple’ in 1975. They take three years to complete the one study and ten years to finish the other study.
The Cowan had made pilot survey on 16 couples and other survey on 96 couples. Among these couples, 24 were non-parents and 72 couples were anticipating their first child. The researchers get permitted to “distinguish between changes that occur in couple relationships over time and those that are apparently attributable to having a baby,” by the 15 of the non-parent couples who already had children.
“Some of the most commonly reported problems that couples face when they have a child are a loss of intimacy, adjusting to the changes in the relationship where the partner is no longer the center of attention, and the stress and strain of caring for a newborn,” according to one article.
The factors that affect the marriage life after having baby:
Communication is the best way to hold the relation. After the arrival of baby, the quantity and quality of the communication between the partners will be altered. This may affect the marriage life of the couple.
The fight takes place in the couple, if they made impractical anticipation prior to baby comes in their life. Sometimes women expect childcare and household work from their husbands and become depress and angry, when it is not fulfilled.
Marital strain before the baby came:
The quality of the relationship and understanding before the baby came, are the most important factors that influence marital frustration. The couple satisfied after the arrival of baby, if they had less tension, ablity to solve difficulty easily and ability to handle the quarrel in better way.
The quality of the relationship between the couple is based on their family roles and the way in which they communicate. Outside environment (working place), grandparents, parents and friends also affect the family relation of the couple.
How to maintain married life and baby?
Parents should be mentally prepared for Baby. Having a baby for the first time is the gorgeous feelings for both wife and husband. The parents should prepare themselves to take care of new baby by attending the classes and reading the books. Sometimes, it also happens that partners are not economically and mentally ready for new baby. But the baby came because of the desires of other family member such as grandfather and grandmother. This situation will create the problems later in the partner’s life.
The couple should take time for themselves as individual and as a couple to feel freedom in relation. They may not go for movie and night date but they should spend the time for each other. This will make the strong relation between the new parents. Taking care of new baby is challenging activity so understand your responsibility towards baby and manage it in proper way by giving sufficient time.
The partners spend the time for the each other before the baby birth. But after the baby came, the time is shared between the three people. There is need for the time management so parents live very happy with their baby.
Marriage problems after baby:
Some couples experience sexless marriage life after baby. The women are not able to give sufficient time to their husband due to baby. Baby may cry in the middle of night and mother has to wake up to handle it. In such a time, husband should help her wife. Many factors are responsible for the sexless married life after baby. Understand the sex need of your partner and try to fulfill it.
It is possible that after giving birth to baby, mother will go in depression as their hormones are all haywire and because of this, major things could significantly affect them. Any family member or husband should stay her side for all time during this phase to handle the baby.
When the baby cries in the night, mother has to wake up to feed it. Thus, your sleeping pattern will change. They may not get adequate sleep particularly the mother. Therefore, you will snap at each other and also to other members of family.
Tips for happy married life after having baby:
- To preserve conversation skills, make a constant contact with each other. You should avoid the chatter about the baby in front of your friends.
- There is no need to adjust you with your baby but your baby will adjust in your life style. You just need to take your baby at all the places at where you go.
- When your baby is asleep, utilize this time to do your interested activities such as paint, read a book, watch the news etc. Mother need to connect with other people so she may aware about the world happening.
- A husband should understand that when his wife forgets about his needs it doesn’t mean she forget you. She just tries to play a better role of mother.
- Make a plan for your baby’s need and money in advance.
- You can take a help of trusted family member or your close friend, if your problems turns in to big issues.